Indonesian Folklore (Folklor Indonesia): Tales from Nusantara (Archipelago): Echoes of Majapahit: Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Confusion and Pressure

Edisi Indonesia: Kebingungan dan Tekanan

The weight of his commission began to settle heavily on Ciptakarsa's shoulders as he returned to his studio. The journey into the jungle, the discovery of the ancient artifacts, and now, the royal expectation to create a masterpiece that would represent Majapahit’s grandeur—it was all becoming too much to bear. Each day, as he stood before his easel, he found himself staring at a blank canvas, his brush hanging lifelessly in his hand.

The inspiration that once flowed freely now seemed distant, out of reach. Instead, there was an unfamiliar pressure that gnawed at him, one that blurred the line between his personal vision and the demands of the empire. The commission was meant to be a great honor, a testament to his skill, but Ciptakarsa couldn’t shake the feeling that the art he was being asked to create wasn’t truly his own.

Around him, life in Majapahit moved swiftly. The streets outside his studio bustled with the sound of vendors calling out their wares, children laughing in the distance, and the steady rhythm of daily life. But for Ciptakarsa, time seemed to stand still, trapped in his own thoughts. The memory of the jungle expedition, the ruins, and the unspoken stories they carried lingered in his mind. Yet, how could he balance the raw history he uncovered with the expectations of a glorified portrayal of the empire?

Kadek noticed the change in him. “You’ve been quieter lately,” she remarked one evening, after hours of watching him stare blankly at his canvas. “Is it the commission?”

Ciptakarsa sighed, his hand brushing against the cold surface of the canvas. “It’s more than that, Kadek. I feel… disconnected. The commission is supposed to reflect the greatness of Majapahit, but I can’t help but think that what I’ve been asked to paint doesn’t align with the truth of what I saw in the jungle. They want glory and triumph, but there’s more to the story. There’s something deeper.”

Kadek nodded thoughtfully. “Perhaps the truth you’re seeking isn’t in the grandeur, but in the essence of Majapahit itself—its people, its spirit.”

Her words lingered in Ciptakarsa’s mind, but they did little to ease his growing sense of unease. How could he capture the spirit of Majapahit while also fulfilling the expectations of those who commissioned him? He was caught between two worlds—the empire’s idealized vision and the raw, unpolished reality he felt drawn to express. Every stroke of his brush felt burdened with conflict, and the canvas before him remained a stark white reminder of his inner turmoil.

The days blurred together as Ciptakarsa continued to wrestle with his thoughts. Courtiers and palace officials occasionally visited his studio, inquiring about the progress of his work, their polite smiles barely masking their impatience. The pressure to deliver something grand, something worthy of the empire, intensified with each passing day. Yet, despite their urgings, Ciptakarsa found himself paralyzed by doubt, unsure of how to move forward.

Kadek, always by his side, offered what comfort she could. “You don’t have to solve everything at once,” she said gently. “Maybe it’s not about choosing between the empire’s vision and your own. Maybe there’s a way to merge them.”

But even as she spoke, Ciptakarsa couldn’t help but feel lost. How could he honor his role as a royal painter while staying true to the deeper truths that art revealed to him? Was he destined to be just another tool for the empire’s image, or could he create something more?

As the weight of his uncertainty grew heavier, Ciptakarsa knew one thing: he couldn’t remain in this limbo forever. A choice had to be made, but for now, the path forward remained unclear.